Recent Content by Captain Hero

Here are my top reasons as to why men have harder lives than women.

#1.
The kitchen. They have easier access to food than we do. Also, the stove can double as a sauna! How ****ing lucky can you get? While we're working, you're playing in the sauna we're paying for.

#2.
Edited~

#3.
Men. That is all.

#4.
Chivalry. We ****ing pay for everything and it's fantastic. We ask you to pay and we're suddenly cheap or sexist. You obviously have the better end of that deal.

#5.
Working. Men work while women play housewife at home. Clearly that's just so you can sit at home and watch re-runs of Oprah and eat the food we work so hard for to put on the table.

#6.
Popularity. You don't have to try to get attention. Your sweater melons do all the talking for you and people are automatically going to start including you in their rampant events, again purchasing many substances for you, including those alcoholic in nature.

#7.
Jobs. You're given the same pay as men for doing much less work. How is that fair, I mean, really? And WE'RE the sexist pigs that are apparently ruining society.

#8.
Edited~

#9.
Edited~

#10.
Breasts. Holy crack-smoking black person, breasts. When women have a decent sized chest, they are viewed as some of the tops of their class, whereas when it happens to men, we apparently have ***** tits. Even if it's a little. Plus they hold milk, so you have the ultimate coupons right there. They're portable airbags, so you don't have to worry about wrecking your car, which you shouldn't be driving in the first place because you're a woman. And yes, we ARE always staring at them. They hypnotize us and make us do stupid things. Like listen to your problems.

And there you have it. Clearly, women have much easier lives than men. I hope you all learn a lesson from this and start to appreciate the hardships that men have to go through ON A DAILY BASIS, just to make you happy.

I bid you,
adieu.

Seriously. You suck. You know who you are.

'Sup .