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Hey Starlight, I've read these previous comments and you know what? They are all right. I'm young still, I haven't been through any of this, but Leblonk hit the nail on the head. God loves you, not just specific people. He wants to take care of you. And you are not nothing, don't you dare ever say that. You are amazing.
I would give the advice of talking to your parents, or a counselor or someone you trust. We all need real life support in our lives.
God loves you, I hope you feel better :D.

That's very inspiring :) Yes, you've mentioned it before, but nothing's wrong with saying it again. I wish I could do the same. I've been praying about it- about everything, but so far, things have only changed for the worse. But when I was younger, I was told that sometimes God has to let you hit rock bottom before he can pull you back up. So while the world around me has sort of shattered, my hope has been building. It's strange, you wouldn't expect to have a better outlook if it wasn't working that way. It's my "chaos" and "peace," I guess. Starlight has put up with plenty of chaos, I hope one day she finds her peace.

I think I've said before that I got counciling with one of my pastors for it. I've been going since last year, and I can't tell you the difference, and you know what? Now that I'm healing, now that I'm growing, I can only look back and thank God for every moment of my pain. It kept me turning back to Him whenI would have drifted, and it forced me to get Christian help. While I was in counciling I got instruction in my faith that I wouldn't have gotten otherwise. Without ten years of pain, my faith would be empty, complacent and tastless. Now I'm coming alive, and I pray the same for you, and Starlight!

The best advice I can give with the bitterness is to go to God for help. I wasn't strong enough to fight it by myself; I don't think any huma is.

Leblonk, that sounds like my life in a nutshell. xD
Especially the bitterness part. I still struggle with that. I still have so much hate in my heart. I'm struggling to get rid of it.

This is going to sound very cliche, but that line in there about it not being scary any more once you give in and let the water in...It sounds so much like my own journey with God. I don't know what your beliefs are, but I have found that all the emptiness, all the feelings of drowning, all the fire, are designed to bring us to God. And when we finally give up, let Him in, and trust Him, the water doesn't go away, the trials are still there, but all of a sudden, they shrink. There's a line in one of my favorite songs which says "Whatever your doing inside of me, it feels like chaos but somehow there's peace." And that's what it is to trust God. It looks like chaos, and it feels it too, but there is so much peace in being still and knowing that He is God, and no matter what happens, Christ has died for us, and nothing can take us away from Him.

I know I sound like a holyer-than-thou bible basher, but I have been through pain, I was a prisoner to terrible bitterness which led into spite and hatred. I know how hard it is to see the kind of thing I'm saying as anything other than empty words, and all I can say is they're not. I know from experience, they're not.

This video is superb, and I hope you feel yourself again soon.

Please, don't say that. I know the feeling, believe me. But you just have to power through it and hang on to your sanity. It's one of the hardest things in the world, to keep a smile on your face and keep going, but please, do not give in. Remember the things that matter to you most, and make them your motivation. You are a wonderful person and don't deserve to feel this way. But on a lighter note...isn't it funny how feeling this way produces fantastic vents? x) Maybe winning top 5 will put a smile on your face ♥

Starlight...I hope you're alright. I don't really know how to respond, but I hope you do feel better.
Let me tell you that this was a very good video! If it doesn't win a place in the next top 5 I would be surprised!
I hope you feel better soon.