The Lounge: Official Spamzone Community Thread

I dreamed that I ate my game disk. Tasted salty.

 

♛ So, I've come to the realization that I am probably asexual. It feels kind of weird announcing it, but it also feels like something I need to say in order to validate my realization. I know people talk about being asexual and I got the general gist of it, but it weirdly wasn't until I read a tumblr post about asexuality that I understood why I feel so different. I know khv is a pretty open and understanding forum, but some people might find it strange for me to come to this decision when I'm married and whatnot, but you can love someone without wanting to have sex and a lot of people don't understand that. I know I like guys and to a minor extent, i also like women, I even enjoy having sex, but I don't desire it. I never have. If I wasn't married and in a relationship, I wouldn't go out of my way to seek out sex. I just have no desire for it. It's an issue in my relationship that we have dealt with for six years and will have to deal with for the rest of our lives and I always felt like there was something wrong with me for not ever wanting it, but now I fully understand that there are other people out there that relate and even desire intimacy without intercourse and I just feel really relieved somehow. Sorry, this was really out of the blue and ranty and deep, I just needed to get it off my chest.

TL;DR

 

I have a cold. -1/10 would not recommend.

 

I personally never understood the reason why people need to label these things, so let me ask you this (if you are okay with it, feel free not to answer otherwise). Does there being a name for something that fits in with how you feel/who you are make things easier?

I've always felt the opposite personally (not trying to convince anyone to change just rambling) because we are all so different and how we feel can change. Like I've seen people get torn apart because they feel lost due to not fitting into a certain category, and taking away these categories (to me) might fix the problem.

Rambling aside. Glad you are figuring stuff out.

 

All of this year I've been slowly, but surely, adding custom thumbnails--although not "custom" in the sense that I made them, because I didn't, as they're just covers--to my YouTube projects. I recently kicked it into high gear within the last week. At first I was just searching for specific projects I've done and doing it that way, but yesterday I changed it and just started going through my videos list in general. Yesterday I made it from page one through page 40, and right now I'm on page 53.

So, anyway, I was thinking. You know what would make this easier? An option to apply a thumbnail to all videos on this page. Going back to what I was originally doing, I'd search for, say, Spyro: Ripto's Rage so only all Spyro: Ripto's Rage videos are listed. Then I'd just go through all of the pages, applying the thumbnail to each video on those pages.

 

Goose for you, Hyuge

EDIT: Stupid phone. GOOD for you. I'm not trying to give you any geese

 

Obviously it's different for everyone but having uncertainty about a facet of your identity can make it very difficult to accept. Not tondraw the conversation & question away from Hyuge, but I struggled for years to accept myself as bisexual. Not because I had any sort of prejudice or anti-gay sentiments, but because I didn't know whether my attraction to women was strong enough to compare with my attraction to men (I like women and would theoretically be with one, but in the long-term I only see myself with a man). By accepting the label bisexual, in a way it felt I was giving power to that part of me rther than ignoring or worrying about it. It's freeing, in a way. And it helps to define abstract aspects of ourselves even if the blanket term doesn't totally fit us; it helps us and others to understand ourselves, and, for me, removes anxiety over worrying who you are.

Obviously this is a deeply personal thing; some of us don't care about helping others understand, and if you are content with your identities without labelling them that's fine. But identity is extremely public these days and taking on a label for yourself can be an important step in accepting and understanding yourself for some people.

 

A lot of this might be the Dayquil talking.

Adding onto what @Misty said, when you can put a name to something, it becomes easier to comprehend and come to terms with it.

Food for thought, when I was in school and my classmates were pairing off, I felt like I was 'broken' because I didn't have those thoughts/desires. Looking back, I wanted close friends not a boyfriend or girlfriend. I also didn't really have a 'moment' to really decide what I was attracted to. Yeah, I consider some men and women pleasing to look at but it doesn't really mean I want to do the nasty with them.

I'm an asexual. I write and read smut. And it's okay because it's not me in those situations. And discovering that the asexual identity even existed brought about such a sense of clarity. I wasn't broken. I was just having a different experience from my classmates.

 

Did this and it went exactly how it said. Though I couldn't get a good enough connection from the parking lot, like some of the comments did. I had planned on doing it through the drive-thru, but instead went inside anyway. My 3DS connected to it without me having to do it anything and I got one for AS and Y.
One of them has crap for Defense, apparently, but now I have five Hoopas so **** that one.


EDIT: I didn't get the Pokemon toy, though.

 

To answer your question, it doesn't necessarily make things easier. I am still who I am and I will still have issues in the future, but it allows me to have a better understanding of myself. I don't care about labels, and it's not like I had set out on a journey of self discovery or anything, but it gave clarity in a sense. I don't understand all the fancy new sexuality terms that people identify as these days, as I have not taken the time to read up on every last one of them, but I've been familiar with the concept of asexuality for years, I just never thought much about it. I had originally thought it was a step forward to acknowledge being bisexual, and that never even felt quite right. Idk. I guess it makes it a little bit easier, since I no longer feel like there is something wrong with me, but at the same time it doesn't since I'm still me and now I'm just repeating myself so I'll shut up now...

 

I just consider myself like, ~80% straight, (can admit a male/man is attractive, not compelled to act on it) because I don't believe ANYONE is 100% straight or gay.

 

Of course. Sexuality is fluid, but we're definitely always dominant in one. Eg, you may be dominantly straight, but it doesn't stop your curiosity.

 

I never understood this line of thinking (not trying to belittle it, merely disagreeing). In the past I've seen people argue that those who claim to be 100% straight have "closet" (for a lack of a better word) feelings that they are trying to suppress or something. Some cases this may be true, however I am very confident that it doesn't apply to everyone. This seems like more of a reaction to the "normalization" of varying types of sexual attraction. Now that people are starting to accept that there are many more ways that people actually feel, it is really easy to overdo it and start to discredit the way a "fully" straight person feels. Which is just as bad as discrediting the feelings of a gay person, for example.

All things being considered, the fact that it needs to be measured at all is a bit silly.

/opinions

Says who though? I don't think anyone here can speak for the feelings of everyone on the planet, and especially since one's feelings are their own, saying that sexuality is fluid or isn't doesn't really work. You can only speak for yourself. Its goes on a person to person basis.

 

saying that i'm asexual implies that i care enough about my sexuality to label it

just like gender. it has nothing to do with how i perceive myself or the things that i like.

but if one must label me i would be an asexual male i guess? i don't know. we're never gonna have a one on one conversation about anything overtly sexual or masculine so why bother labeling it. "**** off, labels" is basically what i'm saying. i just wanna sit here, pet this cat, and shoot the ****

 

I say that people aren't 100% heterosexual because I believe (not know) that people can be at least a little attracted to certain individuals of any gender/sex/whatever.

For what it's worth, I completely feel it'd be wrong to call myself anything but straight.

Of course, this is just my own arbitrary idea of sexuality/attraction.

/other opinions

 

I disagree intensely. It's a matter of human psychology and I think that in that regard, the more we know the better. Whether it's for something as simply as entertainment (how to write a character that's relatable), marketing, social studies, or something as important as medical purposes, it's something that should be studied. Like in many cases, many people grow up think that they're something they're taught to be and it makes them uncomfortable and uneasy, as if they have the wrong skin, and it isn't until they learn about something out of the ordinary that they're able to come to terms with who/what they are. It's true that the same thing could be solved by not giving them any categories at all, but the categories are already there and will always be there -I'd wager they're there without human invention, in the natural world- but it's easier/better to have the group to call your own (I hate wording it that way, but that's the only way I can think of). Of course, if you don't want to label yourself, then there's no reason to do so (save for specific situations). Doesn't mean that labels are inherently bad or unncessary.

 

I just made employee of the month at a job where I've been working at for 3 months, and I got the day off tomorrow.

Drinks? Women? Debauchery? Papa Spike's coming your way~

 

Is appreciating someone's appealing qualities (physical or otherwise) necessarily an attraction that labels a -sexual identification, though? Personally, I think Justin Hartley is the sexiest man alive. Chris Hemsworth? Incredibly attractive. Have I met guys that I've admired in a way that's more romantic than platonic? Yes. Did I desire any form of romantic or sexual relationship? Not one bit. I'd call myself a hundred percent heterosexual without hesitation. Doesn't mean I can't appreciate the attractive qualities of another male.

Did you get the day off for getting EotM? If so, that's an awesome deal.

 

Transistor. Easy.

I'd say yes, appreciating someone's physicality and admiring people in ways more romantic than platonic is an attraction. However, it's not necessarily a strong attraction. Like I said, I can easily call a male/man "sexy" without wanting to necessarily have any sexual/romantic relationship. And if you were to ask me whom I'd rather be with in one of those fashions, I might pick them over a female/woman.

I dunno if this all makes sense. I'm eating Birthday Cake Oreos with chocolate milk so it's not like I'm fully analyzing the subject.