Forsaken Hotline

First we must ascertain whether you' re crazy or not. Did you reply to the lightbulb ?

 

Nope. But pickles.

As long as pickles are involved, sure.

I'd leave that egg and go for a pickle. It's much easier to have a relationship with them. And they love you forever.

 

I was too scared to do anything.

 

Please help me Forsaken, my wife is currently trapped under an enormous pickle and I have no idea what to do! To save her from the miserable pickle of secrets, you must answer this question:

How many pickles does it pickle pickle pickle to pickle the pickle pickle pickle?

 

i don't need your number

if i know where you live


i am coming


leave your window open

​

 

Exactly 64.2 pickles. Give or take.

 

oh god my

my ribs

can't breathe

 

Never. I have pickles. They will protect me forever.

 

Have a pickle.

 

But I ate all my pickles and I wanna buy more! D:

 

Take a loan from a bank. Tell them that pickles are involved.

 

Help. I am dead.

 

Use a Phoenix Pickle.

 

OH MY GOD

FORSAKEN

I'M BEING TAKEN HOSTAGE

THEY SAY THEY'LL LET ME GO

BUT THEY NEED YOUR NUMBER--DEAR GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOOO---



hi we are da hostage keepers give us ur number or we'll like do stuff to jayn

​

 

Good, you didn' t underestimate the menace.
Replace them all with pickles immediately.
[video=youtube;effgeTPjo2k]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=effgeTPjo2k&feature=related[/video]

 

Sorry, I can't help you there. You better call a Pickle Hotline, they usually deal with these problems.
Please come again.

 

Pickles are the answer to everything.

 

Life crisis.

I was just involved in a hostage incident. They let me go because my rich brother paid them, but golly.

I would love to have the number to your hotline to talk about the experience.

​

 

Dear Forsaken hotline,


May or may or mayormayormayormayor
May or may or mayormayormayormayor
May or may or mayormayormayormayor
May or may or mayormayormayormayor
May or may or mayormayormayormayor
May or may or mayormayormayormayor
MMMMAAAAAAYYYYYMAMAMAMAMAYYYOOMAMAMAMAAYAYROOR

May or may or may may or may or may may may or may may or mayor mayor
yor
may or may or
may or may UUUGH

mail mail
Here's the mail it never fails
UUUUGH
Here's the mails it never fails
UUGH
Here's the mail it nenever fails
It makes me wanna wwwag m-my tail
Mail it never fails
Mail it never fails
Here's the mail it never ever fails
Here's the mail it never ever fails
Fa-fa-fa-fafafafa-fafafafaf-a
Fffffff-f-f-f-f-fffff-f-ff

May or may or mayormay mayormay mayormay mayormayor
Here's the mail it never fails it makes me want to wag my tail (mayormayormaymayormayormaymaymaymayormayormayormayormayormayor)
Here's the mail it never ever fails it m-makes me w-want to ww-wag my tail (mayormayormaymayormayormaymaymaymayormayormayormayormayormayor)
Mayor mayor
Mayor mayUGGHH

 

I keep telling you the Forsaken Hotline doesn't have a goddamn number. Stop asking this question.
I'm serious. One more time and I'm going to call the police on you.
Please leave, and as a token of our anger, you can take a pickle on your way out.

If you're having stuttering, stammering, faltering, and bumbling problems, please direct yourself to another hotline, one that is more like to deal with your problem. We only give advice.
As a token of our apology, please take a pickle. They might heal you. They solve everything.