~`-'.:([{Lingering Thoughts-):./\/)-----

Discussion in 'Archives' started by Cin, Mar 3, 2007.

  1. Cin Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp

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    This was just a little emo blurb that I wrote. It's from the perspective of Ramza from the amazing Final Fantasy Tactics, after his death at the end of the game.

    Personally, in Final fantasy tactics while I was playing it I found many life lessons, and overall I found it to be one of the best, if not the best game square has ever made. It was a sad story, one of betrayel and injustice, and one that deserves a tribute. Though I know that even my words cannot do it justice.

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    People always say that history is meant to repeat itself. And it’s true. The Zodiac Brave story, my story, is a shining example of the evils of a human being. All my life, I took everything I had for granted. I was born into a noble family, and I lived comfortably, I coasted through my childhood on luck and the luxury of having a respected knight for a father. I was too spoiled to see that the life I had was only a life dreamed about.

    I had always thought that my life was just beginning, and that there would always be more. Perhaps for me there would be, but not for all. Not all others were born with the life I had, and this imbalance caused great tension. Wherever I went I was respected for my rank, and I always looked down upon those less fortunate, because that’s the way I was raised, yet my own best friend was of a lower rank. Perhaps that’s why we grew apart.

    Either way, as long as there is weakness and as long as there is power to be claimed, human beings will never stop fighting. The greed and lust for power or nobility is all that drives us. I guess that all it comes down to is whether or not you are willing to accept your life the way it is. I personally could not let the injustice of my people stand. There was a battle to be fought, the Church, the Black lion, and the White all stood with swords drawn. None would back down, power and utter control of the country was at stake. Each side lied and betrayed to get where they were. And the people of the country never saw the nobles for who they truly were.

    I guess that in the end all I can hope for is that what I fought for was right. I fought for truth, equality, justice, and someone very precious to me. I killed every foe I came across, I went to the ends of the earth and back, I went to the heavens and to hell and everywhere I went I saw the same thing. Humans are fueled by greed and hatred, and I took it upon myself to try and put a stop to it all. I fought for my friends, I fought for and against my family, I fought for the well-being of complete strangers, because even though I was raised to think only of myself, my heart told be to fight for others.

    And look at where my heart has led me. Here I stand, looking at the funerals of everyone I once held dear. Here I stand, on this cold chunk of earth, watching the sinful children of the world cry for those that died because of me. My sister, my allies, my friends. Even my “noble” brothers had died because of what I fought for. Because of my beliefs, those that I opposed labeled me a heretic, a traitor, a murderer, and most of all a spoiled rotten child. And I can’t blame them, my fighting is over. I have lost. And more then just the fight, my life. That is, if I ever had it to begin with.

    Sometimes I ask myself what I will do now, condemned to a life of weakness. No one will listen to me, not that they can. I will always know the truth, and what have I got to show for it? I am not but a memory, and chances are the foolish humans that still fight for power will erase that from history as well. I will not be buried, I will not be written down in a history book, I was nothing but a blemish on the face of a flourishing yet disgusting society. And because I see the truth I will be forgotten, those will great potential, and those with great intentions are always forgotten. Please, if anyone every hears these thoughts of mine, remember one thing: never take life for granted, it's just not worth it.
     
  2. DarknessKingdom The Kingpin of the TV

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    I personslly have not played FFT, but I can certainly say how well you described the character.

    Bravo.
     
  3. Cin Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp

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    Thankies to you Darknesskingdom, I'm reading this now and wondering how I wrote it...XD

    I guess that when you're passionate about something, thoughts and feelings can be expressed easier.
     
  4. Mish smiley day!

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    Oh well that was nice and depressing. =D

    I liked it, quite thought provoking even though I haven't played FFT either.

    Damn, you're probably better at creative writing than me..

    You r a speshul kid. :3
     
  5. Cin Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp

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    Thanks Mishy, glad you liked it!=D

    Hey....wait a minute...D=
     
  6. Ratchet Bah weep graaagnah wheep ni ni bong!

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    That was a brilliant piece of writing. Thought provoking and deep. You certainly have a talent.
     
  7. Soushirei 運命の欠片

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    Hey, Cin!

    Sandwich dissection, here we go.

    Most and above all, I must commend the degree of emotion that was evident throughout the piece. The lexicon--for the most part--was very well chosen, and depicted the feelings and thoughts of the narrator very well. I've played Final Fantasy Tactics, and while Ramza wasn't exactly the most pronounced protagonist in terms of his viewpoints and feelings, I felt this work really gave accurate insight on a perspective that many may have thought, felt and discerned if they were placed in a situation like Ramza was.

    Shikamarus Shadow might have probably mentioned the same thing if he had read this and commented, but there are a few spots where I felt the choice of word(s) and the syntax of the sentences were somewhat odd. I, myself, have this sort of problem as well, so I don't hold myself above this error either. While the train of thought and the point trying to be conveyed are not at fault--your ideas are for the most part, vivid and justified--the way these thoughts were translated into words sometimes lacked finesse and as a result, took away some of the emotion behind it. As well, there are some minor grammatical errors that could bring more cohesiveness to the narration, but many of these are elusive and probably aren't a problem when rehearsed in speech.

    You evidently have the ideas of a very promising writer, and convey these ideas in ways that really take advantage of the prowess of the English language. Creativity is not your weakness, but instead it is particular attention that could be made toward choosing certain words and phrases that could better enhance the narrative. Sometimes, simpler words are more effective--although this does not exhaust or specify the type of correction(s) that could be made.

    Overall, I enjoyed reading it. It's not quite as dark as I expected it to, and is actually more in the domain of the type of angst I enjoy. Good job, Cin.
     
  8. Cin Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp Derp

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    Wow...all that from the best writer on the forum.

    Thanks everybody!^^