Let's try a Fanfic again. Since my other two were just awful. I'll be short with this: This is yet ANOTHER Kingdom Hearts 3 Alternate Future with Roxas as the Main Character. But, I'm doing some of my own things here. And, unlike my other two fanfics, I'm going to try to keep a Kingdom Hearts theme here. Each Chapter will be in a Spoiler. Just to let you know. And I'm also trying a new style of writing. Don't comment on it. Prologue: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "...Odd. I thought nobodies didn't have hearts." "They don't. There is no exception. Not even me." "What are you talking abou-" "What do you think? There is no "Special" nobody. We're all the same. Without hearts or feelings. ...Or maybe. We at least have feelings." "Wha? That doesn't make sense. Not in the slightest. ...You should know that there is an exception... You and her..." ... "...I've been feeling this sensation ever since I merged with this person. I'm having a recollection of memories about someone who I remember. Which at the same time, I do not. This person... Who is she?" "This feeling has not left. I feel like I'll never be able to stay within in peace like this. ...I...I... ...Must escape." "To find out who this person is, I will have to become my own being again." "Why and how? I don't know. These are two questions that I will have to answer myself later." "This tale begins at the peaceful area of... Destiny Islands." - BEGINNING: Disconnection - ------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 1: Spoiler ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "With that "Higher Existence" as my witness... With God as my witness...! I wield the left hand of Oblivion and the right hand of Oathkeeper! Connecting them to form the Holy Hand of Twilight!" "...How long ago did I get in this mess? Then again, it is my fault. If I hadn't changed, I would've still been in his body... a year ago. If you would give me a moment of your time, I wanna tell you from the beginning how this hell started." --- Chapter 1 - Disconnection --- --- A Year Ago, After Organization XIII's Defeat --- On an isle, there was several residents that seemed to be constructing something. Some came with wood on their backs and others were hammering nails into wooden houses. "Hey! Wakka! Over here!" A man yelled out. "Getting the higher spots, ya?" The other man responded. "Be careful. You might fall from up there." "Pfft. I'll be fine!" Wakka threw a log to the man up high. The man almost lost his balance on the top of a ladder he was on when he caught it. "Didn't I tell you Tidus?" Wakka asked. "I got it! No prob!" Tidus yelled. "What do you 'Got'? Your balance or the log?" A white haired man spoke out. "Oh. Riku. Hey. ...Wait. Whaddya mean 'Balance or the log'?!" Tidus yelled as his foot slipped and waving his arms up and down as he fell, he landed just before the log hit him in the face The other workers just sighed. "Well THAT answers my question." Riku commented. "Shaddup. It's not like you're doing any better." Tidus remarked. "...I'm ...Supervising." Riku replied. "Like hell!" Tidus started yelling again. While the angry Tidus was yelling at Riku. He just had his head turned while he was trying to ignore him. Wakka turned around and got back to the construction project. It seems like they're possibly building more houses for people to live in on the island... "This giant clubhouse gonna be done soon?" A worker asked. ...Or they're working on a clubhouse. Whichever works for them. "Not really. It's still gonna take awhile. But let's have some fun with it. 'Kay?" A female voice spoke. "Ohohoho. If it isn't Sora's lucky lady!" Tidus greeted. "Don't call me that!" The girl blushed while she denied it. Obviously. "If you're here Kairi, where's Sora?" Riku asked. "Actually... I was hoping you knew." Kairi replied. "Huh?" "Last time I saw him was in the Cave." Tidus answered. "Oh really Tidus? Thanks. I'm gonna go look for him." Riku responded. ... "....., don't be sad." A female voice rang out in a pitch-black area. "Why won't these words go away...?" A male voice rang out. "I've been remembering too much. My life two years ago... There was... A girl. But who was she?" A cloaked figure stood within the darkness of the room. "I... This person... I know her. But I can't remember a single thing. Except her face I see everyday. Through his eyes." The male voice continued as the image of Kairi appeared. "This obviously isn't a dream... I need to figure out... Through my own selfishness... I need to escape." The figure pulled down the hood he had on to reveal a boy with blond hair. "...Startin' time." He reached out upwards with his right hand. It began glowing white. "Ow!" A boy shouted in the cave. It seemed to be Sora. He held his head with his hand. "Oh man... This headache. I'm not gonna be able to work like this! ...Where'd this pain even come from anyway?" He asked as he stood up. "I'm gone." Sora heard a voice as he looked up towards the ceiling. "Wh-What the heck?!" The pupils in his eyes disappeared as his entire face glowed with a white light as a body glowing a bright yellow began materializing in front of him. "...Wha..." The light on his face disappeared and his eyes went back to normal as he looked at the person in front of him, a look of shock on his face. "What're you...?" "I'm done here Sora. I'd rather be a nobody." The other person stated. "WHAT?! No! You're not suppose to be-" "I'm getting my answers." "What answers could you possibly need? What the heck kind of questions have you been asking yourself?" "...I don't need to answer you." "...C'mon... Roxas... You're not supposed to be out here... The letter his majesty sent..." "I don't care." Roxas turned his back to Sora, "Later", he walked away whilst Sora could only stand and look on "It's funny. That day, my whole personality changed... Probably because this time I wasn't playing. I'm not the naive 'Boy' I used to be. But of course I knew I couldn't do this alone. I had to get out of here and revive an old friend." - Next Entry: Escape - ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yes, yes, yes. It's bad. Whatever. There's something I wish to ask of YOU khv. I want you all to make Organization Characters. Usually, I'm against the thought of Original Kingdom Hearts characters, but this is an exception. BUT, there are some things you need to know and follow: 1. PM the App/Profile and actually make a comment here. That's it. 2. You cannot pick Numbers: I, VII, VIII, or XIII. 3. For certain numbers, I wish to have certain personalities picked out for you all. It's not too restricting, since it's just one or two words. I will cross out each one as they are taken, if I'm not online and multiple people apply for the same thing, the first one who sent it will get the role. Now here: II: Badass/Serious Type III: Malicious Type IV: Genius Type (Not totally like Vexen, but similar.) V: Silent/Stone Wall Type (Like Lexaeus, which should've been obvious.) VI: Bossy Type IX: Lazy/Moron Type (Like Demyx.) X: Sadistic Type (Similar to Larxene.) XI: Rebellious Type XII: Anything similar to Marluxia. Weapons and such, you can pick yourself. But whoever makes XII, have a scythe. And IX, have a Guitar-ish weapon. Doesn't have to be the Sitar. Thank you. Here's the App: Spoiler Name: (Must contain an X obviously.) Real Name: (Name of Somebody.) Age: (Before becoming a Nobody.) Number: Weapon: Element: (If you're picking the Marluxia-Type, put "Flowers".) Appearance: (Description please. It makes it easier for me to describe them when I enter them.) Personality: Bio: (Honestly don't care how long this is.) And that's pretty much it. I hope this is decent enough. Comment please.
I'm not a big fan of fanfics, never read them, but I like this. I never played KH all the way through and its been years since I have played it, so I can't comment on the characters personalities, but it seems to me like you got Roxas perfect. He's always looking for answers, he's stubborn, he won't back down, he's angry. In just that one chapter, I could easily tell how you were characterizing him like that. Great job. Being a little nitpicky, after someone says something, they need a comma before the end quote instead of a period such as I know you said you didn't want us to comment on your writing style, but I like it. It's not that formal. It's conversational and easy to enjoy. Like this part: I chuckled at that. or: It makes it comfortable to read. Weird choice letting the audience make character, though. Let's see how that works out. Anyways, I don't frequent this section since I'm not a fan of fanfics or unpublished work, so I can't be that creative with my criticism. But I love the story. I'm guessing I know who the girl is so I can't wait to see how things work out (Not to mention Roxas is still my favorite character) So *subscribed* I had one other thing to say, but I forgot it, I might mention it later if I remember.
You have quite the eye. I was hoping to get Roxas' personality correct. I didn't think it would work all that well. Comma instead of a period? Okay. Since I'm working slightly ahead, I'll put commas with the chapters I haven't written yet. And I didn't think anyone would chuckle at it. I just wanted to make it seem like the Narrator was there to be funny too. Glad you liked it.
wow, nice one. i cant wait to find out whos talking in the prologue. oooo keep writing please! this one is good, i dont want it to drop off into forgottenness. your descriptors are very good. like this part one thing i noticed: the first 2 sentences dont quite flow right. im sorry, im being nit picky, you dont have to fix it or anything. i just needed to mention it.
Ugh. A screw up on my part then. Sorry. Glad you liked it though. And I would LIKE to get some more characters, for anyone who just happens to stroll into this thread. Hell, I'll even remove the commenting rule.
