Journey to the Center of the Earth... My version

Well, I month, or week back, I posted a plot, and some people liked it so I decided to go with it. It's for a school project. I only have around... 5 pages, but my partner has the first 2. I have the next 3. Tell me what you think. If you don't know what's going on, read this. If you still don't know, then I'll re-type the beginning, or summarize it. Comments, Criticism, all welcomed.

Without talking, we quickly moved down the corridor. I noticed everyone here seemed to stiffen as Aaron walked by, and everyone knew exactly what was going on. I considered asking him another question, but his stern expression told me it wasn’t the time to. This isn’t the Aaron that I know. What happened? He used to be so cheerful and full of life! I had to ask.
“What is wrong with you Aaron? Your like a brick wall now. Can’t you even be glad to see your old buddy?†I asked.
“Sorry Kyle, but it’s the end of the world thing. I only agreed to do this to save three people. My wife, and 2 kids. They’re only five and seven years old for gods sake.†His voice seemed to shutter at the last sentence.
It seemed to take forever to get there, but finally, here we were.
“Well, we actually finished building the ship before you arrived. It took us three precious months to do it, but we’re finally done. I’ve checked over everything, but I never did so well on mechanics in college. Can you check over the calculations?â€
“Anything for you buddyâ€
“Oh, and big surprise. Do you remember Fat Mountain? Well, she’s going too, and she’s driving the shipâ€
“Jamie? She’s here?†I jumped with excitement. We were best friends in high school, but she went to Harvard and I stuck with a community college and haven’t seen each other since.â€
Jamie came in, looking as beautiful as ever.
“Well, I’ll just leave the two of you here, to check the calculations. See ya later. If you need anything, then just dial room 597.â€
“Thanks.â€
Aaron left the room, and we didn’t speak for a long time.
Then Jamie suddenly said “Well, long time no see, I guess,â€
“Ya, It has been while. Oh! I almost forgot! AARON!!! COME BACK HERE! I FORGOT TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING!†I yelled.
Aaron rushed into here, and started blabbering
“ Is something wrong? Anybody hurt? What’s happening?!â€
“Nothing. I just had this book I thought you might want to read. I suggest ‘Twilight’ I always new you were a bookworm, but here you go anyways.†I said as I handed him a book.
He glared angrily at me. “Read it already†He grunted “Don’t call me back, or I’ll make sure your the first person to test the suit. Think again before you call me. I don’t think you’ll do so well with 5000 degree Celsius of lava over you with nothing but a thin layer of neon, Lanthanum, and Neodymium.â€
He left the room, looking really busy. I took one look at the calculations, and found a mistake.
“Um… Jamie? I think I need him back. This is really important,â€
“I hope it’s so important that you’ll take of chance of dieing for it. AARON!!!â€
He stormed angrily into the room, and said
“What now?!!!â€
“ Um, you made a mistake on your first numbers and it messes up the entire thing.â€
“One mistake. It effects the whole thing like that? Wow. Anyways, come here tomorrow at 8 am instead. We’ll finish the suit today. Also, what size are you?â€

A new beginning(chapter4)

We started working on the new calculations and running over some stuff. Everything was messed up, WAY off. Me and Jamie went to the McDonalds to get some lunch in our bellies, and on the way back, I realized something.
“No! I left the calculations at McDonalds! We have to go back!â€
We drove back to McDonalds as quickly as possible and couldn’t find it anywhere. I asked the clerk.
“Some dude was acting suspiciously wearing a big rain coat and sun glasses. He was stuffing a big blue piece of paper like you described. He went into Elm St. and took the last house on the left.†He said after we questioned him.
“Thanks!†and slipped a dollar bill to him. We ran all the way to the car, and started driving. I drove to the house mentioned, and it looked like a shack. Running over to the house, I opened the door and cautiously walked inside. Jamie was waiting in the car, but I parked it in the park and she couldn’t see me. I stopped. I though I saw a hand. Then, and cold voice said
“ Don’t move. I have a gun. If you run, I’ll shoot you. Don’t try anything†it grunted.
Chapter 5

I’ve never been so scared in my life, and I don’t think I’ll every be the same again after this. If there is a after.
“See that tree? Walk over to it and tie yourself up. Don’t move. I’ll see to it someone will watch you. If you move, he’ll kill you.â€
I was so scared, and I shakily walked over to the tree. I was going to bend down to pick up the rope, when I saw something. Jamie was running towards me.
“Don’t go farther! You’ll get shot!†I screamed.
She didn’t seem to hear me, and continued running. The thing was, I didn’t realize the police behind her. The guy behind me started shooting, and I started running. Then I saw the police. I was running towards them before I knew it.
Bam! Bam! Bam!
Everyone started shooting at once. I felt a bullet miss me by a hair length.
“Ahhh!†the guy who threaten me yelled
He was shot twice. Once in the leg, and another in the forehead. He died before my very eyes. I was shaken, and the stench of blood was clogging my nose. I threw up over the side, and tried to breath in fresh air. The birds were silent and no one moved. I saw some of the police officers were wounded, but it probably wasn’t life threatening. This is horrible, I thought. That’s it. It’s to dangerous. I’m going to tell Aaron. I’m not going to the core.


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