I just want to get out of here

I live in the south of America.

I am an educated, tolerant city-boy living in the same house as stupid, racist hicks.

I am sick of it.

It all started when my grandma came to pick us up from school. Now, my school is majority black. She started complaining about the people in front of her cutting the lines and stuff (my mom does this too, but she doesn't use racist terms, to my knowledge) spouting the N word. She knows that I don't like that. I grit my teeth, and we head home.

When I was about to get out of the truck, my brother said it. I told him, "Good luck in the workforce!" as they'd fired him then and there if he said that on the job. To that, he says "Oh, shut up. Everyone says it." At this, I get angry. I quickly got out, obviously mad. My grandma said, "Who do you think you are?" I told that I did not like that word. After that, I angrily went in the house. I cannot remember what was all said, but I'm sure I said something around the lines "You stupid, backwater, hicks! This isn't frggin' 1960!" and slammed the door. My grandma then proceeded to yell "You dumbass!" Then, I promptly slammed the door, about to show her just how "stupid" I am. I am smart. I may have a temper, but I got a brain in my head. I planned to prove her wrong by speaking in Japanese (almost fluent). All I got out was "omae," a rude way to say "you." She then said something. I don't remember.

My brother said "You better shut up or she'll pop you in the head." At this, I shouted, "I don't friggin' care!" To tell the truth, I didn't. It would prove that she has no argument except authority. I went in my room and turned on my computer. My grandma then said, "One word out of you and your going to bed now." At this, I just turned off my laptop saying, "Fine."

I then spent the next hour-and-a-half in my bed, crying a bit, wondering what went wrong in the sixties. Why do we hate? Nothing comes from it. It hinders progress and clouds judgment.

Ignorance is the root of all hatred.

 

This problem seems serious...this is going to the be the first time I've said this on KHV...my race is black, which means it is unfortunately racist to my own race. I see how you are not racist and how you try to keep racism from getting to a max. Yes, I have met many racist people in my life so far, and I didn't like the way how they spoke about my race. It was racist...it wasn't good, my family had to get involved.
So...here is how I dealt with it. I told someone(my parents) who wasn't racist at all and somehow got them involved with the situation. My parents frequently with this racist dude's parents, and he got punished. But he still purposely continued being racist.
So, I came to a conclusion that his parents were racist.
Sorry if that doesn't sound too uplifting, but I hope it gives you a few ideas of what you COULD do.

But here's the good part, he got suspended for commiting a crime and almost setting my school on fire. There you have it..things may turn out well..I supose.

 

Racism is a huge problem, even though the world is "integrated." One of my friends actually spazzed at her boss because he wouldn't employ a black person. ["You know what? I quit!"]
It's in the media everywhere, and I don't even understand it much myself. Is it because we are afraid of each other? Or because some people think that they are superior? Both, probably.

 

I completely agree with you, Mirai. I probably would have reacted the same way. The level of ignorance in them must be amazing for them to act that way and react so vulgar.

To this I tell you: try and maintain yourself (you will, of course, that much is obvious), and just hold out until you can really do something about it. I was in a similar situation where I used to live (at my mom's), I got angry soooo many times, and got caught in the middle soooo many times. In fact most of the times I got angry was because of the fact I got caught in the middle.

Best of luck. I really don't know what to say. I suppose 911 is always an option. lol

 

Dood, that's tough. I completely agree with you, Mirai. The way your grandma acts is disgusting.

As Darkwatch said, try and maintain yourself. I know it can be difficult but if you lose control, things might get violent. I think you should talk to someone you know (obviously not your grandma or brother now.), perhaps your parents and ask them if they can have a talk with her. She might not budge in her opinion but you perhaps negotiate that she keeps her opinions to herself.

Also remember she's an old lady. She lived in a different time than us. Back then things were way different than now. You can't change everyone with new rules, ideals and morals. I'd understand if you decided to explode at say someone who is in their teens or an adult. But she's an old lady, probably in her late years. I can somewhat relate to an old Vietnam veteran who insulted me for being Chinese. But hey, he was an old dude who fought for the country I lived in. I don't like his opinion of me but I respect him as an elder. I nearly bashed up a kid for insulting me but that's a different story.

Good luck. Try to get your brother to not use the N word. If he does, probably deserves to get bashed then.

 

Being as I grew up around racism and yet a lot of ethnicity at the same time and I'm half Native American...well I can sympathize. I had fights within my family constantly when I had friends who were black or other ethnic backgrounds than Caucasian and I had big blow outs with my family over their prejudice. They would not let me once do a lip sync routine at school to a song with a black girl that is a good friend because they thought it promoted that we would be 'going out' heaven forbid. Needless to say, I did what I wanted.

Racism is something to fight and you more than made yourself clear on how you feel about the issue and you were right to. However, now that this is said and done, the way to approach the issue may be through time and well, showing them through example that you are not a bigot and you have friends etc. Sooner or later they may learn to calm their own racism down by seeing there is nothing to fear or hate about someone just because his/her skin color is different. Just do your best to keep racism in your own thoughts down and lead by example. Unfortunately, the more you scold them for being bigots the worse they might get so if you do your own thing and just walk away from them when they start being stupid, they will see you aren't letting it get in the way of your better judgment. Walk your own path and if they ask you about why you feel as you do, explain calmly to them that prejudice is ignorance, pure and simple.

I hope this helps because unfortunately there is no 'easy answer' but to stick to your guns and try to love your family for the other good qualities they possess and try to win them over by being you. We can't force people to wise up but we can encourage them to and also not let it get in our way of doing the right thing so that our offspring etc know that skin color doesn't mean auto-bias.

 

I know how you feel, the majority of my friends are pretty racists, saying stuff about immigrants, like Indians or the new one is about Pollish people. Even my parents still use the words, not the N word but black, paki, etc and it depresses me.

All I have to emphasize is, 'You can't change people' people think the way they do, trying to change that is impossible, as much as i'd like to make my parents and friends not use racist terms it's not going to happen, it's been put into them.
You should accept people and treat people your way and not theirs, don't get over angry because of this, people are ignorant or spiteful through racism, but don't become like your family and be angry or spiteful at people.

They are your family, you will never change that. Tell them it annoys you, tell them you are sick of all their comments, tell them how can they judge how people act when they themselves act like the savages they call other races.
You have the right to be angry, but don't let the anger take over your life and how you feel about your family.

And it's not the 60s you should be worrying about, but the 00s and how future children will treat people, you can't change the pass but theirs always hope in the future.

 

Very terrible. Being hated as a family is very serious as it is your closest thing to go for. My advice is try to be with them cause if you don't, then you have nothing close enough to help (sorry if my answer doesn't help)

 

1. Thank you for teaching me a new word.

2. Here's what you do, you have to calmly explain to your family that you don't like their racist ways. It's really tough to do this trust me but the only way for you to bring them out of this generation gap is to bring it to them slowly and calmly. Eventually they'll realize that somethings wrong with what there doing.

Also you get the sweet satisfaction that you know you were respectful, calm, and relaxed while your family is still flaming at the head. That's when they definitely know something's wrong

 

She's stuck too much in her racial times. Tell her to gtfo off to the North Side of earth because in the Southside she'd get ****ed up. If she doesn't know, Obama's running for president, and unless she wants another George Bush, she'd have to vote for him.

 

Holy...wow.

Where to begin?

I'm not really racist myself. So long as people earn their weight in life I don't really care what color/ethnicity/religion/etc you are.

But your grandma lived through the whole Jim Crow era and the segregation. Sometimes it's harder for older people to change their mindsets. My grandpa was the same way with the Hmong. I admt I don't like how they get everything free while I have to pay for it. They often get free college education whilst I had to pay my own way through it.

Ack, usage of us and them. Have to not do that.

It's good that you're accepting of people. It shows how open minded you are and open to change.

The fact of it, humans instinctively(yes I said instinctively) seek out differences to make one group better whilst simultaneously putting another group down. It's the In-group Out-group mentality. Nazis vs Jews, Whites vs Blacks, Straights vs Gays, and so on and so forth. Ever since the beginning of time this has been going on.

I agree that it is sad and it hinders progress.

 

I'm glad you had the courage to stand up to your grandmother for saying what she said. Being a Hispanic living in a predominantly Hispanic neighborhood I have witnessed racism of a different kind. My best friend, Sean, is white and there were times when I took black eyes for defending my best friend. It takes a lot of guts to stand against racism for your friends. It takes that much more guts to stand up to your family for people you don't even know. All I can say is don't let that fire that burns inside you go out on account of your family. You have to rise above it and continue to let them know that it is not something that you will tolerate.