I'm not one to vent my feelings really, but it's been quite a long time since I've been dealing with it, and perhaps being open with it might help. Spoiler During my Sophomore year in high school (About 2 years ago, during October) I attended a camp that broadcasted a message of peace and prosperity, and it's main goal is to be tolerant and respectful to everyone, and hopefully bring unity against the prejudices of life. That made me feel stronger as an individual, making me believe in who I am: Made me have more affection for the girl I've been longing to have, made me have much closer bonds with my friends, and also gave me more hope in restoring unity in my own immediate family. December came, and my dad, after having long suspicion, finally discovers that my mom was having an affair with a co-worker. My parents have been through an affair before when I was younger; before I even arrived to the US. The separation of the family tore me to pieces, and perhaps I started losing the confidence I built up prior. To avoid anyone getting anymore hurt, my dad decided to send her to New Jersey with her sister. Not only that, but the girl I love confessed that she liked a month before the event. She was in a relationship during that time she confessed, and even though her boyfriend was abusive, to the point where he would threaten her friends (including me) to back off from her, it was still a relationship. Still, I decided to tell her I liked her, too. Everything was okay, and nothing really changed. A day after the discovery of my mom's affair, the girl decided to hang out at my place. It was originally her, my best friend and I, but my best friend had plans, and so, I had her all to myself. She hasn't been smiling in a long while, and when we were together, I actually saw her laughing and smiling. It didn't take long until she told me she wanted to kiss me. Of course it felt great to me, but the guilt of knowing she was still in a relationship was still lingering in my head. I felt terrible, knowing this is the exact same thing that happened to my parents. Fast forward towards January 31st, and her boyfriend finally knew that she's been cheating on him with me. I was still trying to cope with the condition my family was in, and along with school, this added on to the pressure. There was a point in time where I wanted to set things straight, that it felt like it destroyed my whole self; how her boyfriend kept threatening me that made me feel less of a man; how my dad was thinking of a divorce that made me feel like there's no chance they're ever going to be together and made me lose the hope of family altogether; and that one day where I wanted to tell her how much I love her and wait for her, yet almost to the point of having sex, and I said I wouldn't do it, that made me feel very very unmanly. This all built up to the problems I now deal with. Take all of these and I deal with doubts I got carried away with: For about a year, I've been calling myself gay. Yes, as in homosexually gay. Because of the things that occurred, I haven't been feeling myself, and for about a while now, I got carried away with that thought, to the point where it feels like I really am and feel like I'm gay. Where I feel attracted to my own gender. Yet something in me is telling me that it just doesn't add up, nor is it right for me, considering how I still act towards girls and guys. I like to say it's just in my head, but sometimes it's all too real to even tell myself that being straight, as I always have been, is false. I've also been calling myself stupid. I can disprove that with the grades I always get in my class. 2nd out of the whole school. A 4.5 GPA. AP Classes that are abused excessively. But that's something else. I feel stupid for the efforts I do that are failed, or for the things I'm incapable of doing. With my family very apart, I try my best to make the most of it, yet no matter how much I try, it seems very cracked. Or no matter how the girl (now my girlfriend for about a year and 4 months) tells me she loves me, I feel very dumb in not believing so, and not believing in myself that I love her, too. And in general, I feel very abandoned and insecure. I never want to lose anything or be lost. My parents forget about me, and at times, they literally forget me. One time, they just drove off, thinking I was in the car. And I haven't been feeling confident about who I thought I am: Straight, and Smart. I'm trying to get my life back in order, yet it seems that these pressures continue to press on and tell me wrong. I truly feel and believe I'm not gay, nor am I stupid, yet in the same way, I am. I really need help.
[video=youtube;GKL6WuiTlgk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKL6WuiTlgk&feature=player_embedded[/video]
I'll be playing Minecraft :3
And I made this on my phone the other day. Considering it's using technology as the medium, I couldn't pass it a traditional art. But I was thinking of possibly combining this as a collage or an assemblage with these and love-themed photos, or have it translated to a traditional artwork (Using paint or paper, etc). Your thoughts, people? Spoiler
I like good in something I hate to see myself wear. ...skinny jeans >.> Gawd, I either look like an Asian from California, or a genuine ******bag <.<
I saw a trailer of this when I watched Paprika on DVD. I don't see much info on it much, but according it it's reception by critics, it seems like a very great movie. Anyone seen it?
So I'm taking AP (Advanced Placement or in other terms College-Bound) Art this year, and so far, I'm not in the greatest shape. But of course, it's probably a progress thread is what I'll do here. Anyways, I really want critiques to better my photography and Photoshop techniques and efficiency in order to get some projects done, and it a better aspect, the best they could possibly be. I forgot to mention this is how it will work: AP Art 2D Design (Photography, Photomanipulation, Relief art, etc.) Will require 24 Art Pieces, including a Concentration Piece to go along with it. I can do anything to what I can take with my camera, but with my Concentration - A series that revolves around a very simple yet complex idea, and requires the medium to capture that idea - I need to keep it very consistent. So how I'll be able to keep consistency is create a number of series, in which you all can critique separately or as a whole. I'll try my best to keep it in series, but some pictures will randomly pop out as well, random pieces. So without further delay, I bring you my projects. Again, Comments and Critique appreciated :D TIMES SQUARE Spoiler 1: Spoiler 2: Spoiler 3: Spoiler 4: Spoiler 5: Spoiler 6: Spoiler 7: Spoiler 8: Spoiler 9: Spoiler
I haven't been on since forever. D: Thought I'd travel to memory lane and drop by here. So what's new? :3
I'm back, not that anyone cares.
I haven't really played the game but I did read the manga and I got attached to it. Anyways, I made 2 Versions (There was 3, but I checked the V2: 2nd and with the border there was no difference with the third) of the sig. It took 30 minutes to do the whole thing. V1: With Border: V3: With Border: Cnc?
Apparently, I still have sugar in my system..it won't be too long until I end up fainting and wake up...well maybe won't wake up, I'll end up in a sugar coma.
With border No border: Cnc? I used what I learned in art class, about monochromatic colors, complimentary colors, etc. I also used some effects like ripple and lighting effects in photoshop. Oh and lots of soft light layers just to get the value range right because brightness and contrast didn't work out as much for this.
I only have limited stuff to use on the renders and I don't think I've done enough, but I'll leave the critique to you people.
No, it's not going to release in 2012, but the teaser was just amazing. I can't wait to see it next year (July 10, 2009): http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/2012/ Discuss.
I just played the game today and I've been getting audio issue during the game. For example, when I pause the game, it makes annoying buzzing noises or sometimes even screeching noises. The game doesn't freeze, it's just the audio. Oh and I bought it at gamestop. Does anyone have the same problem and how can I fix it?
Forum really changed a lot! Must have been some party when I was gone! Anyways what's up and what I miss?
Like the title says, what is the hardest pact you've ever used in "The World Ends With You" Is it: Shiki Misaki Yoshiya Kiryu (Joshua) Daisukenojo Bito (Beat) Mine would have to Daisukenojo Bito, or Beat for short. His card combinations are a bit tricky that it loses my concentration on Neku.
BEST PICTURE EVAR! HB ROCKS!
Alright! Now that there are some applications up for my RPG, I believe it's time to vote! This week, you are going to vote for a person you want to play for the first story of the RPG. The following candidates up for voting are listed below: 1. Wisdom Form Guy/Master of Wisdom 2. Hexin/ Yan Xing 3. Sora 13/ Alex You are to vote for the first place winner and are explain why he/she is worthy of playing the first round. The winner will get to play for the first round in the other thread listed below: http://www.kh-vids.net/showthread.php?p=1826075#post1826075 Also note that this thread will be closed after voting. If there are more people willing to apply for the rpg, another poll will be put up. So I hope you people vote and join this RPG! I also got permission to post this poll.
Alright! Now that there are some applications up for my RPG, I believe it's time to vote! This week, you are going to vote for a person you want to play for the first story of the RPG. The following candidates up for voting are listed below: 1. Wisdom Form Guy/Master of Wisdom 2. Hexin/ Yan Xing 3. Sora 13/ Alex You are to vote for the first place winner and are explain why he/she is worthy of playing the first round. The winner will get to play for the first round in the other thread listed below: http://www.kh-vids.net/showthread.php?p=1826075#post1826075 Also note that this thread will be closed after voting. If there are more people willing to apply for the rpg, another poll will be put up. So I hope you people vote and join this RPG!
