Good evening people of KHV. I'm about to make some people really happy. Tonight I want to shed some light on a few things many if not most of you have been in the dark about. Staff and regular members alike. See for about a year or so now or whenever the big "fight" happened, I have been struggling quite a bit personally. As it turns out when you mix high levels of stress, no breaks, and being too damn sensitive all the time, your vital signs start to get into the stupid zone. Lo and behold the admin who once ran a half marathon now had the blood pressure of a very unhealthy elderly man. There are multiple tiers to the problems I have had with my experience as an admin so I kinda just want to break it down section by section. Problem 1: If you didn't have a friend on the inside, the rules were applied to you as normal. Contrary to popular belief, my life's goal isn't to rock the boat and make people I don't care for miserable. I am actually quite the softie, which is I am ALSO to blame for this issue. The fact of the matter is, the cliques formed on discord in a very rapid pace. We would see members saying vile things that would normally get an infraction on the spot without hesitation, but when that person spitting fire happened to be buds with the staff members they got a little more breathing room. This created a dance where one could go in on somebody, back off for a bit, let the infractions/warnings/random chat messages expire, then repeat. As it turns out this can actually create tension within the staff team when one staff member enforces the rule on another staff member's friend and vise versa. It is disingenuous to not at least admit that this was incredibly rampant on many sides while the discord chat was active. Problem 2: Scapegoats abound! In the early stages one of the things I heard all the time from staff members, regular members, etc was that "discord is killing KHV", which was never really something I agreed with. The only thing discord did damage to was the lounge, which doesn't take up the entire website. Now Obviously Discord handles casual conversation better than KHV ever has. There is no denying this. So my thought was, why don't we make our "product" something other than casual and quick conversation. Content creation was the goal, and while not impossible, it would seem we didn't have the right hands for the job. There was a hyper focus on moderating the website (which was admittedly dead) and hiding out in the staff chat on discord (which created a divide between staff and userbase). KHV was always doomed to fail if we didn't bring anything to the table, and while on site events are great, they are mostly for the users that already exist here. Keeping those members entertained and happy is important, very important, but the goal of growth was never really attempted in a way that would yield results. Problem 3: The divide This one probably isn't going to make the staff very happy, but it needs to be said. I've spoken to a handful of members (well, more than that who I have mentioned multiple times in the staff section) who feel that certain ideals were imposed on the userbase. Ideals that went beyond the scope of simple rule enforcement. This would also bring about rulings that benefit said ideals, making them concrete and absolute by extension. People were often grouped up and isolated. Their opinions, beliefs, needs, none of it mattered because it didn't line up with what some people thought was an absolute. While I'm not here to debate morality or ethics, one thing I can say is that the cliquey attitude that fell upon the community far surpassed things we've seen before. When one clique makes up the majority of the people that enforce the rules, people walk out the door. This much is evident considering several replacement chats have been made and are thriving. I would know, I'm in one. I'm sure a lot of you are too. So why give up? I'll tell ya why. Throughout my time on KHV I have felt increasingly more and more alone. I've been condemned within the staff chat, dragged through the mud publicly by staff members and users alike, have made major sacrifices to my health, time, and financials (which doesn't count, I guess) -- yet despite all of this I am a "problem" Admin. I have seen staff members outraged with my absence over the summer despite the average "last message" date of the entire staff team to me being Feb. 2018. A simple message could have found out that I was dealing with multiple friends almost dying, losing my grandmother to dementia and Alzheimer's, and not feeling too great myself. I've learned that I should be spending my time around people who care, not those who do not. As of today I am resigning. It's been real KHV.
Post number 23 decides my username. Go nuts
It seems we have a staff infection
Yes, but then it becomes a case of one member's word vs several others in this case. There is no way to prove what happened without at the very least breaking that "privacy" barrier. That's what I meant by half measure, its almost impossible to give members any reasonable amount of real info, all the while still keeping private things private. There was a fairly good reason that stuff like this was never discussed beforehand, because handling it was very difficult for both the staff and the users. You can end up hurting a lot of people this way, which is bad for traffic. I advise against it personally, but hey just my opinion. You do you.
A while ago, I posted a thread about my grandmother not doing so well. Unsurprisingly enough, she is doing worse. However that is not the topic of this thread. What, or rather who I want to talk about right now is actually my uncle. Obviously I will keep him "anonymous" in this case as I don't want this to seem "witch hunty". Throughout my uncle's lifetime he has asked a lot from my grandparent's in terms of financial help. This has given him quite the easy life (in combination with the money he got from his careers and such). However these were not exactly what you would call "loans" as when it comes to my uncle, he doesn't really give things back. Of course, to an extent my grandparents are sort of to blame, because they could have easily said no and had the option to stop at any time. Unfortunately however, this has added up to well over 100,000 dollars worth of checks written, as well as a reverse mortgage done on my grandmother's house. Now as she is getting worse on a daily basis, she is living in a nursing home. 24 hour care is her new baseline. This is something that nobody in our family can provide for her. We are not a nursing home, or a skilled team who is qualified to take care of her. Not because we don't want to, it's just we are unable to give her the quality of care that she needs at this point. Sadly we found out that medicare is only willing to fully cover 20 days at the nursing home she is currently staying at. After that, days 21-100 will only be partially covered. This is where the trouble comes in. My family is by no means super wealthy (by "my family" I mean my mom, dad, sister, etc) which means that not only does my grandmother not have the money to pay for days 21-100, but my family does not either. The only people at this point in time who are capable of spending the money to take care of her is my uncle (who is currently quite wealthy, and will only get wealthier as he took out a fairly large life insurance policy on my grandmother as well) and myself. I am by no means rich, but I do have money saved for college/future stuff so when it comes down to it. I will most likely be paying for her care. I have no problem with this, I would do anything for my family. The reason I am posting this in the "help with life section" is because my uncle has put himself in such a position where he is living off of my grandmother's house until she dies (because we must sell it once she is gone, due to the reverse mortgage), using her car, not paying for anything she needs help with, and will ultimately make even more money off of her sickness/death. All the while he has admitted to sending a semi significant amount of money to his "girlfriend" in Florida on a monthly basis. Aside from beating his face into the next century (which I would love to do, but won't because I know that isn't right / I don't like jail). I have no idea what to do when it comes to my uncle. I help wherever I can, but in terms of paperwork and organizing everything, my mother has been doing most of that work, and at the rate her mental state has been declining due to stress I am also extremely worried about her. I know there is probably nothing that can be done in this situation, but if anyone has any ideas on how I could either stop my uncle from literally being the devil, or any suggestions at all, they are all welcome. I am an open book with this, so if any of you have any questions or if I wasn't clear, feel free to ask. I am all out of ideas khv, please help.
Hey guys, long time no rant. So to be honest I really don't know where to begin, I guess I could start off by saying things have actually been really great (up until recently), I've been doing very well in school (somehow managed to keep a 4.0), my head injury has been in check for a very long time, and I've been kicking my butt with healthy eating/exercise for about a month now which makes me feel great. Unfortunately things aren't all sunshine and rainbows. A while back my grandmother (on my mother's side) started showing signs of Alzheimer's/dementia. It was fairly slow at first but I guess you could say I saw it coming before she was officially diagnosed. My grandmother has always been a really social and outgoing person, really fun to be around as there was never a dull moment if she was there. That's when you could say things started to go wrong. Sparing you all from having to read a wall of text about what Alzheimer's does to a person, right now she is not very functional. If we are talking to her she will forget what we said and ask us to repeat ourselves several times. My mother has taken over her finances completely as she cannot be trusted with her own checkbook, credit & debit cards, etc. She also cannot drive which leaves taking care of her to my mom and her brother, mostly my mom to be honest as my uncle is kind of a jackass (I help out as much as I can, school can be tough and get in the way though). It doesn't end there though. A few weeks back my mother went with my grandmother to go to the doctor to get her breasts checked out to see if she had any lumps (checking for cancer). So it turns out they found something and then did a biopsy to check to see if it was cancerous. We got a phone call from my uncle saying everything was okay, my grandmother told him what happened during the appointment as he was the one who drove her. A few days later my mom got a call from my grandmother, she was really upset because she just heard from the nurse at the cancer place and it turns out she actually DOES have it. Turns out my grandmother (knowing her usual tendencies I don't know why I was surprised) didn't retain much of the information that the doctor told her. She left that day thinking she didn't have cancer, when she in fact does. She is going to a doctor (in march if I can remember correctly) to get a full checkup. From what my mom can see, my grandmother has the symptoms of what appears to be stage 2 breast cancer at the very least. She has spots all over her legs, etc. I won't go into too much detail, truth be told because its hard to remember all of this stuff it has been happening so fast. Oh and the other day at dinner my mom pretty much all but confirmed that she'd rather see my grandmother (her mom) die from cancer than slowly lose her mind and die suffering. Which I agree with, both suck, but if one has to happen I'd rather she go quickly/peacefully as much as possible. But wow, that is a tough pill to swallow.... So where does this leave me? Well my grandmother on my mom's side is the last person on that side of the family that is still alive, that I can really say I love. That may be weird to hear, but it is true. I am sure some of you can understand, families can be fragmented and that means you don't really get to spend time with them and developed the bonds needed to really say that you LOVE that person. For those of you who are unaware (which might not be very many of you) I am a very emotional person. I guess you could say I wear my heart on my shoulder. I was a wreck when my grandfather died and I cannot for the life of me fathom the sadness that is to come in the future. It is already really hard to deal with. Now I'm not what you would call 'depressed', trust me I've been there and I know this isn't it. I just feel a bit, I don't know...crushed? That might be the word. I love my mom's side of the family, specifically my grandmother and grandfather, but to have both of them gone. Damn that messes me up by just typing it. I guess what worries me the most is that things were going so well for me in terms of overall happiness. Hell some of you might have noticed, I haven't been starting shit with anyone on here, that must be a good sign. I'm not saying I am going to turn into some a-hole once things get worse. I just don't think my heart can take anymore of this. I've also been this entire time an emotional "wall" for my mother to lean on and vent to whenever things go wrong. How is she supposed to vent to me if I am the one currently breaking down. Ugh, I am sorry for this i just had to get this out. Feel free to say whatever you want. Share a story, give advice. It doesn't matter. I just really needed to do this.
/callout thread
Like 1000+ people smoking at the same time in a smallish area really sucks. Like you could practically taste it, also I saw some guy Cosplaying as Deadpool at a Metal Music Festival. Some guy thought it was spiderman and got his butthole decimated by a random group of females.
and stomp all over everyone's creativity, but is there any chance we could cut back on the flashy avatars and sigs? If not that's cool I'll just try to look out for them more but seizure disorders are more common than may you think. This is kind of awkward because I hate having people adjust around my "needs" but yeah that would be really helpful.
Dat one black lady sure is just like us hip young teenagers.
Riot
and ur not invited
Also since site activity is bawls I should prolly post If you use cheats/hacks in Watch Dogs, are you technically playing the game the way it was supposed to be played?
I ran into some money recently and decided to get myself a 3DS and Pokemon Y, I haven't played much Pokemon since Diamond due to the fact that my spare time and money decided to vanish so I was wondering if the transition is going to be super awkward. I saw some gameplay and was like...wat. Also if anyone has any game suggestions for the 3DS I am all ears.
Bringing the right aligned green-bold text back?
I want you. Jayn doesn't deserve to have a woman like you.
Because it beats talking about the RP posts counting
How ya feeling?
