Be yourself, though I have to say, considering you want to love this girl, maybe being yourself will be a hard accomplishment if you want a successful time with this girl. Try your best to be yourself. It really pays off to know her first and find common ground. It makes your relationship more comfortable and from there, try your luck and take a jump start to setting your relationship there.
And like Wolf said, a woman's heart isn't a prize. A prize is something of material, and if you really want to cherish this woman, then your love needs to be priceless.
Be a gentleman, so always put the lady's interests and choices to both heart and mind; be as courteous and respectful to her as possible. Part of being a good gentleman is just really knowing what you can do to charm and adore the lady. I enjoy wooing my girlfriend through letters and little love notes. It's just expressing your talent in front of her can really impress a wonderful woman :) My girlfriend is very fond of the art I both paint for both her and myself. Learn to love yourself, know who you are, and benefit from yourself to entrance her into your arms. But remember, how she is puts your skills to the test, and it isn't a bad thing, cause that's the wonderful mystery that you should persevere to acknowledge in order to woo her. A woman is a mysterious figure, but it's a puzzle worth solving if you put the pieces together. You seem to do that quite well. You've already complimented how smart and adorable she is. Never lose sight of what you've perceived.
Again, since you're not yet into the relationship, just try your best to get to know her. Then when the time is right, take the chance to be in a relationship you've always wanted. Never rush. Rushing will only lead you with immense headaches and anxiety (Trust me). Learn to understand the woman you love just as you need to understand yourself. Love is can actually be a very fun experience if you communicate, take patience and really take the passion to love her immensely.
Love is fun, but it is not game, for you are not meant to play with a woman's heart.
Love is endless, so guide your heart's desire, for love is only the mysterious start.
Let me introduce you to my life. I used to fall in love with a girl back in grade school that has never stopped until I learned to accept the circumstance and fell for another. She's been my best friend for the longest time, and everyone was very aware I had feelings for the girl. I've confessed it to her countless times, and even up to now, she still doesn't feel the same. It made me furious knowing about the guys she like. They're nice and all, but all end up treating her very poorly. As her best friend, I always want what is best for her, and having feelings for her often times make me feel like an option.
The more and more I realize that she just won't feel the same for me, makes me regret I didn't put other time and effort into making myself feel presentable towards other girls who might have been interested in me. I realized that other girls liked me, and yet my focus has been on a woman who as much as bonds with you in every possible way, can never love me in a way I want her to.
Save yourself the trouble and relieve yourself of heartbreak. I know it's difficult, but often times, knowing you can another can fate make you meet the right girl. I'm very sure I did after completely accepting my best friend's decision, and I don't regret any moment I spend with my girlfriend.
Username contradicted by me.
Thanks Llave :)
I'm going to be honest that we have done so, but it was during our relationship, it was safe and it was a mutual decision. No one was hurt neither regretful of the experience, so I can safely say it was done when we were ready and prepared.
And I have a very high standard of being man, though not what is stereotypically labeled as. Though I often get sidetracked and do fall for the stereotype - probably explains the insecurity - I just yearn for the happiness of a woman. Funny, cause that's how it's always been for me since the first time I met girls my age. Haven't changed since...well other than the thoughts of course. It's quite a challenge, and I often think it's a test to make me a stronger person for who I really am. I mean, why else would the woman I love be here during the moment of the most difficult episode of my life? Well, it sure is a mystery.
I'm really getting back there, so I'm quite glad this whole phase can pass by and I can get back to being me. Before, my mind would physically hurt, and I often didn't want to be with anyone, even my girlfriend. Would even deny my feelings for her at times. But I am getting better. My relationship with her gets better with every milestone I accomplish with this self-doubt.
It's a very tough and demanding mindset, this insecurity. It just hurts more knowing you're very set in a decision yet up until now, your mind is still focused in questioning. Though I'm glad I'm not the only one who knows how this feel, I wish no one could feel like this.
I'm a Catholic, so I believe in God, and I do believe I'll get by with my faith's spiritual guidance as well. Often times I think that help comes through the spirit of my faith when it seems bleak, so I also look towards religious help sometimes.
A Year and 5 Months this coming August 9th Actually quite excited knowing, it's been this long. She's only my second girlfriend, but I really do care a lot for this girl.
And I shall take your offer into talking. I won't hesitate to talk to you guys during my times when I do witness another struggle in this episode.
Really guys, I can't thank you enough.
How your nature to easily forget shouldn't be the blame for your actions. Like Buster said, don't beat yourself up for this. I easily lose and forget things as well. And this is a guy who has lost a dozen electronics that cost my dad hundred of dollars to buy. Only cursing at yourself and calling yourself stupid won't solve the situation. We are very sorry for the lost, but you must not get worked up or bring yourself down with this situation.
If you easily forget things, it really pays off to have a memo pad around, or something to remind of what must be done. Make it a habit to both write down what's important and to check in case you forget. Another thing, and it might sound crazy, but actually saying stuff aloud will help you retain short-term memories. When my mind is cluttered, I often say what I do either physically aloud or think to myself to keep myself at a focused state.
That or, if it is in your preference, eat fish. Fish can help improve memory. I used to eat a lot of fish when I was younger, and since I'm not granted that possibility anymore, puzzle games help compensate for that :P
Letter away from Funk
I do talk to my friends when it's gotten worse, and believe me it's the same exact thing: I'm straight, and smart, and it's all in your head.
And I take that with the utmost kindness to know they believe in what I believe in, yet my mindset continues to reside in what I don't want to think about.
I'm very touched with the words you say, and yes it is working for me :) This summer has been eye opening for me really. I found out I am straight, and the feeling I have is that proud feeling you're talking about. I didn't try or do anything that would make me gay, but knowing I don't have to in order to know is fine with me.
And yes, a year and 5 months this month is keeping my strong. I really love this girl, and I'm also doing this for her.
How you were in middle school is how I am now, and I'm quite sorry you have to go through that kind of emotional frenzy :/ It's very unstable, that even my girlfriend has to put up with it, and I'm fed up with doing things like that, really. I'm trying to just get back to what I find strength in.
And as much as I also believe Bisexuality is an option, I don't find myself being like that either. I mean I find the curiosity in being gay, but I don't see myself being with a guy at all, you know? I can always say that a guy is handsome or good looking, but not in a way where I can tell a girl she's beautiful and I want to be with her. But I do find that attraction, just not an attraction I think that I'll delve into. It's better than seeing the world ugly I suppose. But at this point, I truly think I am straight, and I am just in a very conditioned state. After all, I have been constantly telling myself these things and beat myself up due to insecurity.
I am improving everyday, knowing that it's only me that believes I'm gay or stupid, and even a majority of me doesn't believe in it so. I guess it's really just in my head.
But I'm quite thankful in your sharing. I truly appreciate you sharing an experience that can keep me going. I'm really hopeful that I'll get over these and really be who I want to be: Straight and Smart :D
Truly is the hardest part of my life at the moment. And it's quite strange, knowing that I'm dealing with a lot of heartache, yet I'm provided with a girlfriend to love. This is quite a test of me being true to who I am :)
And I've been anti-social for the most part, but I'm getting back there. Considering most of my friends were guys, it's been uncomfortable knowing I have to deal with my thoughts just to hang out with them. I have been, and knowing that these thoughts aren't there to kill me, nor are they true, that it seems like it wasn't meant for me to be like that in the first place. It's like as if everything is getting back to how I prefer :)
Thank you very much for believing in me :)
Got the quill today :D
Now I'm waiting for a long invitation :(
I'm not one to vent my feelings really, but it's been quite a long time since I've been dealing with it, and perhaps being open with it might help.
During my Sophomore year in high school (About 2 years ago, during October) I attended a camp that broadcasted a message of peace and prosperity, and it's main goal is to be tolerant and respectful to everyone, and hopefully bring unity against the prejudices of life. That made me feel stronger as an individual, making me believe in who I am: Made me have more affection for the girl I've been longing to have, made me have much closer bonds with my friends, and also gave me more hope in restoring unity in my own immediate family.
December came, and my dad, after having long suspicion, finally discovers that my mom was having an affair with a co-worker. My parents have been through an affair before when I was younger; before I even arrived to the US. The separation of the family tore me to pieces, and perhaps I started losing the confidence I built up prior. To avoid anyone getting anymore hurt, my dad decided to send her to New Jersey with her sister.
Not only that, but the girl I love confessed that she liked a month before the event. She was in a relationship during that time she confessed, and even though her boyfriend was abusive, to the point where he would threaten her friends (including me) to back off from her, it was still a relationship. Still, I decided to tell her I liked her, too.
Everything was okay, and nothing really changed. A day after the discovery of my mom's affair, the girl decided to hang out at my place. It was originally her, my best friend and I, but my best friend had plans, and so, I had her all to myself. She hasn't been smiling in a long while, and when we were together, I actually saw her laughing and smiling. It didn't take long until she told me she wanted to kiss me. Of course it felt great to me, but the guilt of knowing she was still in a relationship was still lingering in my head. I felt terrible, knowing this is the exact same thing that happened to my parents.
Fast forward towards January 31st, and her boyfriend finally knew that she's been cheating on him with me. I was still trying to cope with the condition my family was in, and along with school, this added on to the pressure. There was a point in time where I wanted to set things straight, that it felt like it destroyed my whole self; how her boyfriend kept threatening me that made me feel less of a man; how my dad was thinking of a divorce that made me feel like there's no chance they're ever going to be together and made me lose the hope of family altogether; and that one day where I wanted to tell her how much I love her and wait for her, yet almost to the point of having sex, and I said I wouldn't do it, that made me feel very very unmanly. This all built up to the problems I now deal with.
Take all of these and I deal with doubts I got carried away with:
For about a year, I've been calling myself gay. Yes, as in homosexually gay. Because of the things that occurred, I haven't been feeling myself, and for about a while now, I got carried away with that thought, to the point where it feels like I really am and feel like I'm gay. Where I feel attracted to my own gender. Yet something in me is telling me that it just doesn't add up, nor is it right for me, considering how I still act towards girls and guys. I like to say it's just in my head, but sometimes it's all too real to even tell myself that being straight, as I always have been, is false.
I've also been calling myself stupid. I can disprove that with the grades I always get in my class. 2nd out of the whole school. A 4.5 GPA. AP Classes that are abused excessively. But that's something else. I feel stupid for the efforts I do that are failed, or for the things I'm incapable of doing. With my family very apart, I try my best to make the most of it, yet no matter how much I try, it seems very cracked. Or no matter how the girl (now my girlfriend for about a year and 4 months) tells me she loves me, I feel very dumb in not believing so, and not believing in myself that I love her, too.
And in general, I feel very abandoned and insecure. I never want to lose anything or be lost. My parents forget about me, and at times, they literally forget me. One time, they just drove off, thinking I was in the car. And I haven't been feeling confident about who I thought I am: Straight, and Smart.
I'm trying to get my life back in order, yet it seems that these pressures continue to press on and tell me wrong. I truly feel and believe I'm not gay, nor am I stupid, yet in the same way, I am.
I really need help.
A Diamond Klondike Bar
I'm going to dominate this contest even if I'm 4 days late >:(
Dreams can come true :D
We must attain this intellectual behemoth!
Those TNTs don't explode on their own, you know?
It went downhill after the First three in my opinion. The Second game is my all-time favorite in the series. I possibly couldn't go any further than that :P
Ugh, I hate that part :(
If ever you find a way to beat it, tell me ASAP XD
Then again, like Misty, I've also had it for a couple of years now. Think I might retry it. I'll race you >=D
Someone should help me make this :D PM me for details to get whitelisted and stuff