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Discussion in 'Help with Life' started by 61, Dec 15, 2015.

  1. 61 No. B

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2011
    3,455
    i started going to my school's therapist or counselor or whatever because i really really needed to and it's free. i'm currently on break but things just keep getting worse and they don't seem to be going away and i feel so overwhelmed. like my thoughts are kind of a haze and i can't make sense of why i feel this and everything seems removed from myself and i think maybe that's a real problem. i really want to talk to someone but money's a factor. i didn't tell my parents that i went to the one at school and if i went to one over break of course it would come out. i'm scared that this stuff won't work itself out over break and i feel like because of the degree that this is affecting me all of my relationships are crumbling the longer it goes on. and that's part of the problem. should i try and talk to someone while im here or wait for break to be over. like i guess the obvious answer is yes but money and family and stuff, you know. when i left for break i thought i could tough it out for a month but this is day 2 and i'm already feeling like this
     
  2. ♥♦♣♠Luxord♥♦♣♠ Chaser

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2009
    1,773
    Nobody has the "right" answers. This may be a comforting thing to think about, or it could make things worse. So for all intensive purposes feel free to ignore this part or any part of my post if any of this doesn't help you.

    As for how to manage stress or whatever it is that you are going through (this can be applied to various different things). I find that it is a good idea to have a support system available to you as often as possible. If you are worried about money, you don't have to go to a professional for this stuff. Just find yourself a friend or something whom you can rely on (even just to talk about random stuff). We all have days where we feel anywhere from "blah" to downright abysmal. What is important to remember is things can always get better, there is always going to be a chance, and that is the primary reason to never give up.

    Thing is, if something is wrong, ignoring it almost never helps. For example if you put your hand on a hot stove and it hurts like hell, don't just keep it there and wait for the pain to "maybe" go away. That is how you mess yourself up pretty bad. I've told this to people on this site countless times over the years, the best thing you can do for yourself is not to bottle things up and to take care of yourself whenever its needed. There is no shame in that. If you need to see a therapist, do it. If you need to talk to a friend, do it. If you need to quit all things social for a week and get lost in a video game or something, do it (as long as you eventually come back). We all have needs, and they can surprise us sometimes, but the important thing is to address whatever issues you face with the appropriate/healthy response.
     
  3. 61 No. B

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2011
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    thank you, i really appreciate what you said here. I want to be able to talk to a couple of my friends about this but part of the problem is that even though i want to talk to them about this, i dont want to because i dont want to be that guy with all the problems. and i know that everyone will say something about if theyre youre friends theyll want to help you or whatever and that everyone has troubles, but one of them had a friend who just dropped out of school and moved away bc of a suicide attempt and had a relationship that just ended and i really dont want to trouble her with my stuff after all of that. i dont want to he the problem friend after her previous problem friend. this is partially why i went to a person in the first place.
     
  4. ♥♦♣♠Luxord♥♦♣♠ Chaser

    Joined:
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    1,773
    If that's the case then just try to "test the waters" if you can. I'm not saying to be super manipulative, but if you can get them to ask you if anything is wrong then you will be able to say something like "I don't want to bother you about it or anything", then you can take it from there and determine if that particular friend is ready for it. Even if they seem like they can only handle a little bit, you can always talk about things in small chunks. This allows your friends to feel good about helping you without making you feel guilty about putting a gigantic burden on them (which btw, if they are your friends, you aren't going to be a burden).

    Worst comes to worst you will find that certain friends (especially ones you've known for a while) can withstand anything you throw at them (figuratively speaking). I've always been of the opinion that friends can sometimes be the best therapy. That's not to say that professionals don't have a place in the world, but being able to vent to somebody who authentically cares about your well being to their very core, can feel really good.
     
  5. Mixt The dude that does the thing

    Joined:
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    Also, I've been the goto guy for one of my friends, so I know what its like to be piled on. I won't say that there is no burden in it, but for everything from waking up on the wrong side of the bed to suicide attempts the burden I carry is far less than what he let go of. And if it gets to be too much I could grab a friend and talk it out too.

    And sure, for each person there are ways to go about it that work better or worse. But this is one of those things where not doing it is worse than doing it wrong.