Heartburn

Discussion in 'Archives' started by Shinichi Izumi, Dec 31, 2013.

  1. Shinichi Izumi Totally Pink and stuff

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
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    The Place.
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    so i've been working on something i plan on making into a very long story and i don't even like what i have so far, but i decided to post it anyways even tough i think it kinda sucks and is cliched as F***, I don't think im finished with the first chapter even, but i do think that i've been delaying working on it for far to long, and that if i Post it here, i might make myself work on it more, don't expect anything amazing, im just trying to write a very long story that has been in my mind for 2.5 years, and I plan on making this a very long story so i saved my 1000th post to post this, and I just hope you guys can tell me how i can make it better even tough im not very proud of what i have so far, also, some of my friends from KHV will make full time and cameo appearances so don't be alarmed when they do, again, sorry for any mistakes and im actually a bit reluctant to post it but im forcing myself too, the chapters will be narrated in 3rd person, excluding the pilot, and the character is not me, i just really Like "Anti" as a name and it works perfectly for the story, thats all, so don't go thinking im some self centered Pr***
    [RANT END]
    enjoy my 1000th post...
    ...if you can... *weeps*

    Chapter 1.1 Pilot part One

    Name's Anti, never understand why I was given that name, when I ask my mom she avoids talk about it, anyway I’m 16, Brazilian, dark black hair, white slightly tan skin, I moved to Melbourne, Australia recently with my mom, Carla, just us, my dad died a day or so after I was born, my mother was recruited here for being one of the worlds leading and most influential scientists, to do lab work, and work on experiments and machines, some complicated engineering, we moved a few months ago from Brazil, I was never very fond of my own country, such false people, such corrupt systems, not to mention my image never screamed out "Patriot!", l always like other cultures besides our own, I always Isolated myself from the rest of people my age, never properly made a friend, except for one.

    I like to believe this world isn't all bad, and there is some good in it, despite it seems like the contrary sometimes, this story is about hope and the will to move forward, and it starts now.

    We had moved here a few weeks ago, she is a very famous scientist and doctor, And was the leading the research that secured Cancer, she also messes around with engineering, we got to Melbourne, Australia and we were lived in a large house, she is was always nice to me, I decided to skip a year because I was smart enough and I’m in year 11, and she always is occupied with work, she even stopped caring for her hair like women do, she just wears a pony tail and puts it to one side, its been like this for as long as can remember but whenever we have free time we have ice cream together, just talk or help each other out in anyway we can, we are very wealthy, no thanks to me, she is the one who I owe it all to, we really love each other, she is nice, and our bond is a two way street, we both are friends with each other, and we were happy, We were happy, I was happy, until that day came. October 27 at exactly mid day was the day my entire world was reduced to rubble.

    we both had a weekend off and she decided we needed to take a weekend off I was studying on way to much of my time, needless to say she was also working very hard, ever since I was a kid I dreamed of going to Paris to see "the big pointy yellow thingy" as I referred to the Eiffel tower when I was a kid it obviously wasn't yellow, but I saw a yellow statue of it when I was a kid, and referred to it in that manner, rather embarrassing actually, she said Mid-breakfast we would go to no other place than that, Paris, "No way!" I yelled out clinging to her. She has this interesting habit of saying big things discretely as if they were normal parts of a conversation; I also got that from her. "We can to the 'big pointy yellow thingy' together!" She said making me blush, "really?" I asked, "It's a Promise" she replied as I wiped the single tear from my left eye before she could even take notice of it. the Airplane ride was relatively boring, I Read manga or listened to music most of the time, she read medical books She herself wrote looking for any possible errors, she has this as another one of her unique traits, she’s quite a nerd, anyway, we eventually we got there, we were going to the Louvre Museum, I always wanted to go in there, they were making some innovations there, the addition of a few artifacts, I wanted to go to go check them out first, so we did, one that was a crystal ball about the size of a head with dragons carved in the glass, and also some scribbles, some type of writing, It was some weird language I could not make anything out of it, we were both staring attentively at it, until suddenly my chest started to hurt, immensely, I yelled loudly as a red light left both my chest and the crystal ball, soon after, the medium sized glass ball fall down and shatter into numerous pieces, and causing a massive explosion knocking everyone within the first few meters back.

    revealing a dark circular spiral, just floating in the air, out of it came half a dozen tiger shaped creatures, but not like any tiger I've seen, they had saber teeth of half a meter, they had no fur, just pitch black scales, there eyes were void sky-blue as if staring at them would make them look like they are empty pits that go on eternally, and they were surrounded by black particles, as if they were making the entire room heavy with energy.

    All of a sudden out of the spiral a red lightning bolt came out and hit me right in the chest, injecting a searing pain, knocked me out of the window, and my the last thing I saw was my mom being torn to pieces by those monsters as she extended her hand to me, as I was pummeled trough the air until I finally hit the ground. My vision Started going blurry, I couldn't make sense of anything, my mind had not processed the horror I Just watched, I saw a girl coming to my aid, a Blond haired girl, seemed about my age, but shorter, from what my blurriness could tell, she was busty and had smudge on her right hand, I started to slowly lose consciousness.

    I could not move much, just lying on the floor, she got on her knees to see if I’m alright, I could not make out her face, it was all to blurry I was gonna pass out.

    "No! I wont, I need to see it for my self! I need to make those things pay!" I think as I grab a piece of sharp scrap metal that was blown away with me, and trust it into my thigh, undoing the blurriness, fighting unconsciousness back with self inflicted pain, I can now see the girl's face, beautiful, she was surprised at what I just did, "Damm, kid, what the hell is wrong with you?!"

    "Hey stranger, can you help me get up?" I asked, she Immediately put my arm over her shoulder, as I got up, the piece of metal fell out of my thigh, my chest starts to feel weird, I have now Idea what’s going on, I run to where the my mom is, or was, I did not know, I just hoped what I saw was an image of my own mind, as I ran to that

    Location, the more my chest hurt, but I had to keep running, "hey! Wait!" the girl said, When I got there my chest was hurting bad, I felt that something was going to burst out of my chest, those monsters were before me, as for my mother there were no traces of her, only a puddle of blood on the floor "Dammit! Dammit! How dare you?! you BASTARDS! Ill kill you all!" I yelled out letting out a few tears as the pain became unbearable, and at the same time, instinctively, putting my hand on my chest taking a sword out of my chest by the hilt, taking a sword from inside my chest, it just fazed out from it, it did not even break the skin or anything, a large sword, It was silver colored, It appeared to be heavy, and was big and long, I was surprised I could even lift it up, but did not feel heavy, or light, it felt just natural, it was encased by a red fire, I charged towards The one in the middle, as the fire spread around my torso, head and arms, but it did not burn me, it felt warm, almost comforting, but at the same time despairing, the creature jumped high, but as it came down I sliced it perfectly trough its center, making the fire spread throughout it's body, reducing it to ashes, it dies before it can reach the ground, while distracted by my victory, one of them pounces, getting only centimeters close to my face before the red haired girl interfered bashing it's skull to the ground with a crowbar, As the fire I was emitting stopped, "what the hell was your plan?! Jumping in here and dying?! Look, I get it, your Angry believe me, I know how it feels, but there is no sense in getting yourself killed as well, besides, we are outnumbered, I’m surprised you even killed one of them, I’m asking you to act like a soldier and suppress your emotions until we’re safe"

    She was right, and I wasn't gonna die here without knowing what happened, "What do we do?" I asked, the other long-tooths were getting closer,

    "Distract them, and when I give you the signal you back away from all of them" I was in no position to decline, unlike me, she had a plan, this sword was still in my hand but I was uneasy about risking close range combat, so I threw a vase that was next to me, possibly priceless, but Ill chose my life over some stupid vase any day, breaking Itself on the monster's head, no affect what so ever, he did not even blink, I Succeeded in angering him though, he started to run at my direction in that exposition, right in the middle of the museum, he was faster than me, and when I noticed that I realized that by doing this I put my Life into hands into the hands of this girl I don’t even know, but there was no backing out now, besides there was something about her that made want to trust her, I could not put my finger on it...

    "Now!" She yelled as I threw myself to the side hitting the wall on my left, She threw a green sphere at the ground, about the size of a marble, this created a shock wave that vaporized every one of those creatures but did not have any effect on me, the sword was not in my hand, "where did it..." I though

    "Dammit, the old man will nag me for using the Bomb! Maybe he'll understand if I’m lucky..."

    She said as I was limping to her direction, now that the battle was over and the adrenaline had stopped pumping into me, I was able to feel the full effect of my self provoked injury, so I could not even walk properly

    "Wha... What the... What the HELL is going on?!" I yell

    "Sorry about that, I could not properly introduce myself, my name is Katherine, and I’m here to Kidnap you." she said with a casual smile on her face as if we were meeting under normal circumstances. Who is she? Where is she taking me? What happened to me? What was that sword? How did it come out of my chest? What were those monsters... That spiral...? And most importantly, why did mom have to die? Before Any of these leave my lips, The unconsciousness I had postponed strikes me, as I fall forward with my head in her torso, "Kid, you ok?" She asked holding me against her, so I don’t fall to the floor, as I gave in and finally passed out with only one last thought as I felt the tears running down my cheek "
    My dream, that happiness is forever out of my reach now…" Chapter_1.1 ~END!


    spoiler tags messed up, halp, if you actually took time to read my stuff i love you and have a nice day, ill post more including a description of the story and stuff very soon so if anyone actually wants to read what im making then dw

    Edit: Formatting got screwed up because i put it in spoiler tags, but im not fixing it now.
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2013