2014 in review

Spoiler: Semi Reflection/Confession

Beginning of the year, learned that transferring to a four-year is a bitch. Like a real bitch. I only went to this school because it was affordable and the closest to my home. Earned my AA in Theater Performance, tried to transfer that into their Theater program and only took 2 out of my 60 credits earned. Like wtf. So, my year started out pretty bitter.

I was also on a journey of self-identity. Long story short, encountered some pretty racist and sexist beings when I was at my new school, ended up making me pretty depressed about myself and may or may not let off some of that steam here on KHV, which is something I definitely regret. But through their assholery, I think I was able to become more assertive about who I am and now, I'm definitely more secure, especially with the times we live in.

Also was on an up-and-down journey through becoming an actress. Partly due to going to a new school and being on that other journey of self-identity. Why was it I needed to become an actress? To tell the stories that matter? Well, that answer is still out of my grasp, but considering the amount of incredible, positive feedback I now have garnered from my colleagues at my school, I think it's not that far off either.

Overall, 3/5.

Also, confession, I guess as it seems like an appropriate time...
I'm slowly beginning to realize that when I try to strike up conversations on KHV and other forums, I'm in that position where I can't read people as well as when I talk to people in real life. I don't know if you guys notice or even if I am emitting this kind of behavior, but I think my awkwardness here is sort of a defense mechanism for me not knowing what to expect. From the outside, I can see that what I type or what I say is a little contradictory to what I tend to feel in real life. The sort of veil of anonymity from our Usernames hinders my ability to connect with people, which is probably why I am slowly peeling away from being active here. I do lurk, but it has become one too many times where I have hesitated to post something, even for just a small opinion or comment, for fear of being misunderstood. Sure, people troll and people joke around and I shouldn't take it seriously, but I think even for me that is going undetected as it persists and I am confused about how to respond. Sometimes I am able to overcome that hesitation and post away and nothing really happens, but on here and on other forums, I've experienced several miscommunications. I could just leave the forums and let this all go, but well, this is one of my only outlet of news for Kingdom Hearts, and don't want to make the effort to join up at another KH community, haha.

Don't get me wrong, I think this community's great, despite its flaws. It's neither too small nor too big, so it's just the right amount of activity and fun and drama going on.
But alas, I am no psychologist or therapist or whatever. Whatever this communication roadblock may be, I hope that it will eventually be "cured" or "fixed" as 2015 passes by. It may be my own doing, it may be other peoples'. But again, it's not particularly one party to blame.

 

Meh, I'll write one later. 2014 has been a terribly bittersweet year for me.

 

Spoiler

I grew as a person. More patient. Less confrontational. Less serious.

I got back on KHV. Big deal to me.

I grew proficient at coding various things.

I poured myself into entertainment. I've now seen a good deal of great television shows.

All in all, a year of leisure and quiet maturity.

 

I kind of think something with these many substantial posts ought to be in the Discussion section (and I don't say that often, least I don't think I do)

 

They wouldn't get this many posts if they were posted there.